So the 18th day of January and I've lost 4 lbs. Now I have to be honest I'm not jumping up and down about this, My current weight is 356. My weight keeps fluctuating. But I'm happy I'm not going over 360. As I was relaxing this evening a few things crossed my mind. What can I do to motivate myself? Should I give myself an ultimatum? What if I had no choice, would I be able to lose the weight I had to? In my heart I really wan to lose weight so I know I can do it with the right tools. I just have to realize it's not going to happen overnight. One day I would love to have a son or daughter with Michael. But I don't want to look like this. I want to be active, I want to be healthy, I want my child to be healthy. So this journey is hard. It's hard because I keep giving up on myself. It's like I'm two different people. The Healthy Mom inside of me is yelling at me to get my butt in gear and I'm falling to the floor in tears. It's like my own episode of The Biggest Loser in my head. I want my husband and I to be happy with our sex life. I want him to show me off. I want to wear heals!! I just need to keep having this conversation with myself and sooner or later the Healthy Mom inside me will win.
You can always call me and I will motivate you. I believe that we can do anything together. I know that you can do it. If I have to send you motivating texts through out the day I will do it. I love you so much!!
ReplyDelete