Wishes for Baby

Friends, Family, Strangers. Please send some wishes to my baby girl. Copy and paste the text and leave a comment.

Dear Baby,

I hope you learn __________________
I hope you aren't afraid _____________
I hope you love ___________________
I hope you get ____________________
I hope you laugh __________________
I hope you never forget _____________
I hope you ignore __________________
I hope you become _________________
I hope you respect __________________
I hope you grow ____________________

Love,

35 Weeks

My belly is getting bigger but I still have my insecurities. I hope my baby is comfortable in there. I really wanted to get maternity pictures done but I really cant afford it and I'm really not sure I would be happy with the seeing I'm not happy with my body at the moment. Maybe the day before I'll have Michael take some pictures of me so I have something a little more then a cell phone picture.

Being Induced

I will be induced on December 19th if baby girl doesn't come before then. I'm having mixed feelings about it. I'm glad she will be home for Christmas and my doctor will deliver her but I feel weird setting the date. I guess it makes it more a reality and I'm getting scared. I just hope I am able to provide for my family and be the best parent I can be to my baby girl and my step sons. My family means the world to me and I don't want to let them down.

See you soon baby girl.

Dreams

I had a dream about my baby girl last night and she was so beautiful. I can't wait to meet her. 26 more days.

I want to meet you.

The time is getting short and you will be here soon. I hope you like it here. I've kinda been stressing I hope that doesn't out to much pressure on you. I can hardly believe I'm going to be a mom. I hope I do ok. Your grandma is pretty awesome so I think I have a really good advantage. Don't come to soon I'll wait patiently.

Reba McEntire - I'll Be

Bring on the Christmas Music

It's offically the holiday season in my book. Halloween is over. Next is Thanksgiving and the my beloved Christmas. Speaking on Christmas music I think I'll turn some one now. Okay now that I have bliss in my ear. This year will be the first year I will be putting up my Christmas tree before Thanksgiving. I might not decorate it until after Thanksgiving though. I got baby girls stocking and some ideas of what I'd like to do around the house if I have the time, money and energy. I need hubby to get the bedroom somewhat finished so I can put the baby stuff in there and make room for Christmas stuff in the sunroom. Maybe I will start having a little more cheer with the holidays around the corner. The only bad thing is with decorating comes cleaning. I hope to have my mom and sister inlaw over after I get everything decorated for a cookie baking session. Or ornament making. So excited.

NST Update

Yesterday was my forst NST. It took about 90 mins all together with monitoring, waiting, ultrasound and setting up appointments. My monitoring was fine other then the nurse had to hold the monitor on me since they have her the heartbeat through all my fat. Then I had an ultrasound with a really nice lady. She said every thing looked fine. She even tried to get a 3D image but baby girl was hiding her face and was really low so we didn't get a good picture. The tech did notice my swollen feet. She told me to watch my salt and tell my dr next time I see him. She also mentioned I had a little bit of protien in my urine which is a sign of pre-e. I guess I'll be having another 24 hour urine test. I hate those things. I'll go back twice a week until little girl gets here.

My Girl

I fall more and more inlove when I see my girl. It's looks like she will have lips like her mom. I cant wait to meet her. A lady from my Santa Babies birth group had her baby already. It just makes everything seem so real. In just a few weeks I'll be a mom. I'll be holding my baby girl. My whole world will change.

Speechless

I'm at a loss for words on how I"ve been feeling lately. Last night I had so much on my mind and wanted to post but I couldn't put any of my feeling into words. So I'm sitting here again not knowing what to say. I guess I'll just ramble.

• I'm stressed about bills.


• I wish I could find the perfect baby name.


• Oh how I wish I would nest and clean my house.


• I wish I could help with the baby room so I could start putting things away.


• I really wish it was Christmas time.


• I want to see my baby so bad.


• I wish people would offer to come over and help with things around the house.


• I'm so tired all the time.


• I read a book to my baby last night.


• Sometimes I'm so sad I want to cry but I don't and I end up with a headache.


• I'm excited to go see my inlaws this weekend but not excited about the drive.


• Mike's been working nights and I miss him a lot.


• I haven't been eating as well as I should.


• I'm worried about my blood pressure going up.


• I really wish I could stay home with my baby girl. I really don't want to put her in day care.


• Mike's oldest son James called me Tuesday and it really made me happy.


• I'm scared I'm going to go into labor and not know it.


• I'm going to get my hair cut tomorrow.


• I feel like crying right now and I don't know why. Bring on the headache.

You look pregnant. I look FAT.

That's what I said to one of the nice girls I met from the BabyCenter website. I've been jealous of her belly form the first time I saw it. She has a nice round D belly and my belly is major B belly. I try very hard to make myself look pregnant and not fat. People don't think I'm pregnant. They see my top belly and my bottom belly and it's all fat. No way a baby could be in there. Maybe I'll look pregnant right before I have the baby. Let hope I remember the camera. In the end I guess I'd rather be pregnant and look fat the be fat and look pregnant.

31 Week Dr Appt

Everything went well. My blood sugar and blood pressures are fine. Baby's heart rate is 147. I gained 5 lbs in the last 4 weeks but I'm still below what I was when I started. I've been very uncomfortable lately all thanks to Carpal Tunnel and Sciatica. I keep thinking about labor. I probably shouldn't be complaining now. Ultrasound on Thursday.

Baby Shower

I wish I knew your name.

You don't know it yet but you're my baby girl. The only thing is I don't know your name. I've tried many names but you never turn around.

Hospital Tour

So Monday evening we went to our hospital tour. I am more comfortable now then I was. It was also better then I expected. They had some Halloween decor so I'm hoping there is a lot of Christmas decor around when I go in. They said they have 1 nurse to two mothers. That was nice. And they usually work 12 hour shifts. I hope I like my nurse. The waiting room was kind of small and full. I hope there aren't a lot of births the same time as mine. So there is a Labor, Delivery and Recovery room/floor. This is where I will go when I go into labor. They have birth balls in every room and will let you labor in any position as long as it's okay with your doctor. They have rooms with showers and tubs but you have to request them. After the baby is born I'll be moved to another floor for the rest of my stay. They have kitchens for snacks and a nursery. I'd like my baby to be with me as much as possible though. Overall it was a nice tour. I might get lost though. They should give you a map. I hope everything goes well.

I promise......

I promise to my daughter......

1. To learn to french braid.


2. Always call you beautiful.


3. Teach you how a lady should be treated.


4. Answer your call no matter what time of night.


5. Throw you awesome budget friendly birthday parties.


6. Let you be who ever you want to be.


7. Read to you every night.


8. Play with you outside.


9. Show you how to freeze bubbles.


10. I will not sit you in front of a TV for my convenience.


11. Get a pair of heals you can play dress up in.


12. Give you memories.


13. Show you the ocean.


14. Learn everything you have to teach me.


15. Show you how to have fun without electronics.


16. Tell you I love you every day.


17. Never combine your birthday and Christmas gift.


18. Be an example of love.


19. Always be your best freind.


20. Hug you when your sad.


21. Say please and thank you.


22. Protect you.

Being High Risk isn't that bad.

I'm considered a high risk pregnancy due to my weight. I've also been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes and Hypertension. I check my blood pressure every morning and evening. I take medicine for my blood pressure every morning and evening. I take my blood sugar 4 times a day; when I wake up, and 1 hour after breakfast, lunch and dinner. I also take medicine at night for my blood sugar.

I'm not saying it's good to have these risk factors during pregnancy but it's not as scary as it seems. I trust my doctor and that is really important. I know he will take care of me and do what is best for me and my baby. Just because I have these things going on doesn't mean there will be anything wrong with my baby. I've gone though this pregnancy expecting something bad to happen to my baby. Society tells you it's not good to have a baby if your overweight. We;ll guess what. I'm having a baby and I'm healthier now then I was before I got pregnant. This baby girl is going to encourage me to be a better person. I want to go on field trips with her, go to the zoo without getting tired of walking, run, jump and skip with her until she gets tired.

I get more ultrasounds then the average pregnant woman. I get to see my doctor more often too. I've actually had to wait 4 weeks this time since he was on vacation last week and it's killing me. I want to see him and my baby. I guess I should get all of my questions together. Well that's enough for now.

Monday

So this post isn't really about anything. It's Monday, it's raining and I stayed up late last night watching the St.Louis Cardinals win to go on to the World Series. Today has been slow. We are going to our hospital tour in a few hours. I'm excited and not so excited about being on my feet for an hour. I called a pediatrician today for our baby girl. I didn't know what questions to ask but I might call back and see if they make you follow strict immunization schedules. I got a fruit cube at work today. It's a company that delivers a box of fruit to your office once a week. I usually don't get them because fruit has carbs and I cant have a lot of carbs. But it's really good fruit. I split it with a coworker this week. I'm munching on some holiday grapes right now.

So I only have 69 days to go. I'm 30 weeks and 1 day. I have a feeling that I'll have her between December 11 and 17th but she could make a late entrence. So it could be more or less time. We won't know until she gets here. I'm trying to get everything together. Hostpital bag, paper work, maternity leave work. It's all got to be done. I'd rather have it done now so I don't have to stress about it later.

Week 30

I can't believe my baby will be here in 10 weeks. I have a feeling this weeks will go by quickly. We have a lot planned between now and then. Yesterday was my brothers wedding. It was sooo beautiful. Sundays are my days home alone so I usually eat and sleep. Should be cleaning. Tomorrow we have our hospital tour. Next weekend is a baby shower with some friends from work at my brother restaurant the Whistle Stop in Ferguson. The week after that I have a doctors appointment on Monday and an ultrasound on Thursday and then we travel to Mike's parents for the weekend. By then were getting into November. I'll probably start my NST by then and then have another baby shower 11/5. And that next weekend I'm excited about the most because I'm going to pull out my Christmas decorations. I know it's early but if I end up in the hospital before I have my tree up I will not be a happy camper. I have it all planned out in my head that the lights will be on when we pull in the driveway with the baby. I'll have my tree and music and baby. I'm going to put it in the sunroom so I can see it from the driveway and spend days sitting in there hopefully watching it snow. And sometime after that I hope nesting kicks in.

Family Wedding

My big brother is getting married tomorrow. I'm so happy for him. I know the stresses of planning a wedding can get quite overwhelming but in the end it's all worth it. It's kind of like being pregnant. It's a roller coaster ride until the baby come. It's like the ride comes to an end and you forget about the fears and queezy stomachs. You just cant help bug giggle and laugh becuase it was so much fun. I know exactly like how they feel right now but my big day is not for another 2 months. So congratulations to Calvin and Susanna. And Susanna may eve share a birthday with my little girl. It's all ment to be. (Cal and Susanna at my wedding in May 2009)

So tomorrow most of my family will see me for the first time since I've been pregnant. I'm still not happy about how I look. I'm half tempted to stuff my shirt. I know what I plan to wear so I hope it makes me look pregnant. Well I hope it makes me look more pregnant. I don't under stand why bigger girls don't show as much. I would think they would show more. Anyways. Tomorrow is a big day. I expect a lot of pictures. The weather should be beautiful.

Our future dreams.

The Country

Is the Missouri Ozarks you can see the most beautiful sights in the world. We want this to be our backyard. My grandmother lives in the country and I would vist every summer. Even though I live in the city I'm a country girl at heart. I love waving at my neighbors, friendly faces at the grocery store and rocking on the front porch. We want our baby to grow up listening to crickets not fire trucks. Mike spent a lot of time in the country growing up and could write a book of good time stories. I want nothing more then to share the beauty of this state with my daughter. Teacher her to hunt and fish like her daddy. Make things from the land like her mom. The country is where we feel at home.

A few of my favorite things

Mike's favorite, my favorite and some really cute but shoes that are currely to big.

Non Stress Test 2x a week

So the nurse called yesterday and said I would need to start coming in twice a week for a NST. This is what that is....


The Fetal Non-Stress test is a simple, non-invasive test performed in pregnancies over 28 weeks gestation. The test is named “non-stress” because no stress is placed on the fetus during the test.

How is a NST Performed?

The test involves attaching one belt to the mother’s abdomen to measure fetal heart rate and another belt to measure contractions. Movement, heart rate and “reactivity” of heart rate to movement is measured for 20-30 minutes. If the baby does not move, it does not necessarily indicate that there is a problem; the baby could just be asleep. A nurse may use a small “buzzer” to wake the baby for the remainder of the test.

Why would a NST be performed?

A NST may be performed if:

You sense that the baby is not moving as frequently as usual
You are overdue
There is any reason to suspect that the placenta is not functioning adequately
You are high risk for any other reason < Thats me

The test can indicate if the baby is not receiving enough oxygen because of placental or umbilical cord problems; it can also indicate other types of fetal distress.

What are the risks and side effects to the mother or baby?
A NST is a noninvasive test that poses no known risks or side effects to mother or baby.

What does the NST look for?

The primary goal of the test is to measure the heart rate of the fetus in response to its own movements. Healthy babies will respond with an increased heart rate during times of movement, and the heart rate will decrease at rest. The concept behind a non-stress test is that adequate oxygen is required for fetal activity and heart rate to be within normal ranges. When oxygen levels are low, the fetus may not respond normally. Low oxygen levels can often be caused by problems with the placenta or umbilical cord.

What do the NST results mean and what are the reasons for further testing?

A reactive non-stress result indicates that blood flow (and oxygen) to the fetus is adequate. A nonreactive non-stress result requires additional testing to determine whether the result is truly due to poor oxygenation, or whether there are other reasons for fetal nonreactivity (i.e. sleep patterns, certain maternal prescription or nonprescription drugs).

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/prenataltesting/non-stresstest.html

Let the painting begin.

This is what I think it looks like.

We went out last night and got some paint. Looks like Mike got some primer on the wall last night. He's off today so I hope he has the energy to do some more. I saw a little swatch of the color(Baby Peapod Green) but I'm sure it's nothing like what it will look like on the wall. It's a shade of green. I saw it wet and paniced a little but dry I'm sure it's much better. And he said it was an accent color. So I have no idea what the other color will be.

Another Depressing Day

All becuase of my belly. I don't want to look like I've lost weight I want to look pregnant. I want people to ask me how far along I am, and want people to stop asking me who I'm shopping for. I hate it. Grow baby grow so everyone can see you.

My Insecurities

So I'm kind of depressed right now. I saw a pic of someones belly and I wish my bare belly looked pregnant. I can usually make myself look pregnant by what I wear but I wish I didn't have too. This past weeks I've been told I've lost weight but don't look pregnant and had to tell a coworker I was pregnant. When I told her I was 6 months it was almost like she didn't believe me. It really sucks. I know my little girl is still small and I'll get bigger I just wish I was happy with how I looked right now. Sometimes I even feel like my husband's not happy with how I look. Part of me wishes more people would touch my belly. Just my insecurities. Sigh.....

What's the Theme?

I asked Mike about the nursery and he said country, Missouri wild life. So to me this means, tan, baby deer, greens, hopefully some color maybe wild flowers. I always loved wild flowers. So that's all I know. He wouldn't give me colors.

This is what my mom said about it...
"I think you will like it … a touch of nature with a touch of girly … you can always change and rearrange as your mood fits … it will also be versatile …"

I'm sure it will be perfect for my country girl!

Headed to the Dr

Going to the Dr for a ultrasound and a check up. I'm offically in my 3rd trimested. Baby girl has been moving around like crazy. I hope she's still a girl today....lol. I'll try to post some pictures when I get home.

Names

Will I ever feel like a name is right for my little girl? So far this is out list.

Jana Carole

Raven Noelle

Anabelle Dixie

Liberty Reagan

Then I like Besty and Leanne but don't know any good middle names. Suggestions?

Crafts

So far I've made, Thank You postcards, Advise cards for the baby showers and a christmas candy dish. Oh how I love crafting. I hope my little one does too.

New Toys

So my lovely cousin Heather provided me with a bouncer, car seat, diaper bag, music player thing and diaper trash can. I'm officially moving baby stuff around to get around.

The Nursery

So Mike will be decorating the nursery. It will all be a surprize to me until it is finished. I was getting so stressed about finding the perfect crib set and paint color. Michael is getting very excited about it. He has to have one of my freinds help him so he doesn't do anything to extreme. I think thats going to be my mom. So far I get the clue it will be very nature inspired. We'll see what happened. Daddy knows best. I asked if I would like it. He said him and the baby would like it and I would love it. Yet another reason he's to good to me.

Gestational Dibeties

So I offically have gestational dibeties. Not to worried. So I have to go to a class and find out how to eat. If that doesn't work I'll be put on medication. I trust my doctor and I'm going to do whats best for me and my baby girl. I've been getting stressed about all the times I have to check my blood sugar and blood pressure. The worst part is keeping track of it. Mike told me it would all be ok and we;d get through it. I cant tell you how amazing he has been since we found out we were pregnant. I'm so lucky to have a man like him.

What do you think?

More for a toddler but I like it. I just want to get the crib skirt and the comforter. I edited the pic to show a brown crib sheet. There was just to much pink in this pic. Easy enough to change out and not to expensive. Realtree Pink @ Amazon.com

B Belly to D Belly

It's getting there.

TGIF

So I feel good today. I almost fainted twice this week. The nausea has been pretty bad that last few days. I don't know what the problem could have been but I see the doctor on Wednesday. I'm looking forward to the 3 day weekend. Getting ready for baby, hopfully I will have the energy to get some cleaning done and figure out what to do with this little girls room.

Appointment Yesterday

My doctor put me on medicine for my blood pressure and is having me check my blood sugar 4 times a day 3 times a week. It was high after breakfast this moring. But my fasting blood sugar was fine. I got kind of paniced when my blood sugaer was high. Hopefully it's not after lunch. I have a headache now and my boobs have felt like they are on fire. I hope this isn't symptoms from the medicine I've just started taking.

R.I.P Max

Max was put to sleep Monday 8/15. He will be missed very much.

Belly Pic

Sometimes life has a soundtrack. Today this is it.

Dear Baby Girl,

I'm so excited you're coming. Daddy said hes going to have to stock up on ammo and shovels. He plans on keeping you in the basement, we don't have one but he will start digging. He's gonna take good care of you don't worry. You have 4 older brothers that are gonna watch out for you too I'm sure. Grandma Jan bought you some clothes this weekend. They are very cute. I cant wait to see you in them. Dad and I are trying to name you. I hope you like it. I love you so much and you aren't even here yet. I cant wait to see you but don't come to soon.

Love,
Mom

It's a.....

Doctor @ 3 today

So today I have a doctors appointment with my regular OB. Not sure much will get done. Hopefully he can find the heratbeat. I have a bunch of questions to ask and I'm sort of concerned about the numbness in my leg. We'll see what he says. I hope he doesn't make me cry. He made me really mad last time.

Fat/Preggo Belly

HIccups?

So Sunday I will be 20 weeks. Half way there. Today I had this thumping feeling in my lower abdomen. I searched that and from what it sounds like the baby had the hiccups. How cute. I hope I start feeling more soon.

Guilty

So I am starting to feel guilty about leaving my baby with a sitter when I have to go back to work. Baby will only be 2 months old and will need a lot fo care. I should be the one taking care of the baby. I know that I shouldn't be stressing but I am. Also stressing about taking child birthing classes. They can be expensive. I'm afraid they will get me worked up and scared. Right now I"m not really afraid of delivery. I just want it to go well. I guess I should look up some pain managment tips.

Slacker

Ok let's see if I can keep on top of this a little more. So here's what has been happening.

• I'm feeling ok other then the usual nausea and growing pains.


• We have a prenatal appointment on 8/7


• I have to ask for different prenatal pills because mine are $60 for 30 days and I cant afford that.


• I have an anatomy scan on 8/11 and should be able to find out the gender.


• People are coming out of the woodworks and asking me how I am. It's nice to be thought about.


• I'm still doing water aerobics twice a week although I skipped class Monday and slept all evening.


• I've lost 26 lbs since I got pregnant, 20 of those since June 1.


• Hubby won't talk to me about baby names - super stressful.


• I can no longer take nice long baths. It hurts my tail bone. I'm sad that ended so quickly.


• Hubby brought me flowers at work last week. Very sweet of him. They were "Just Because."


• I plan on making my own baby food. I'm pretty excited about it.


• I've been going crazy on www.etsy.com tagging things I like.


• I don't think I will ever find a crib set that I like.


• I wish I could take a vacation but I need to save my time for maternity leave. Anyone care to donate???

Oh what else. I'm sure there is a ton. But thats what I get for being such a slacker. Does anyone read this anyways?

• They just said the AC was broken at work. Just knowing that makes me hot.


• My dad and grandmas made me a corn husk doll the other day.


• My parents are very excited about the baby.


• My mom bought me a few new clothes.


• I think I've felt the baby move but I'm not sure.


• I'm hungry all the time.


• I want to buy baby stuff really bad. Can't wait for grage sales.


• I'm welcoming suggestions of baby names.


• I get annoyed very easy. Fred and waddle waddle duck are banded from my house.

Ok well that's enough for today. I love who ever reads this. Maybe one day after little one is born I look back at this and see how crazy I was.

ER Visit/Glucose Test

So I went into to take a 3 hour glucose 7/8. While trying to find a vain I passed out had a small seizure and threw up. I have no idea how long I was out but they took me over to the ER. I was there alone to it was very scared. I didn't know what had happened until people started talking and asking if I had had seizures before. I had to call my brother to call my husband because they couldn't get him on the phones there. They did an EKG and took my blood pressure like 8 times and checked my blood sugar and babies heart beat. Everything was fine. So I'm home now. They couldn't get a hold of my doctor so they had his replacement say it was ok to send me home. I got something to eat and took a nap. They are saying it's becuase of lack of nutrition. My blood sugar must have dropped really fast and I passed out. I had to fast for 12 hours before the test. I took the test again on 8/13 and although it made me really sick I passed it.

15 Weeks 3 Days

First belly pic. Remember I have a big belly to begin with and it is still a B belly. But I can tell I'm changing. The top of my stomach is harder. Not that the baby is there yet but he/she is pushing things up. By the way I was wearing a dress and pulled it tight around my belly so you could see it.

7/1 Appointment

The nurses were very nice at the specialist office. They took my height and weight and blood pressure. I was sent in for an ultrasound. I was worried about it because I hear bigger make for painful ultrasounds. The techs usually push harder to try and see more. The baby was still pretty low so by laying down she didn't even have to lift my belly fat. The tech did a bunch of measurments and said baby was looking really good.

I spoke with the doctor soon after. We talked about what risks I had with my weight. Bigger women have bigger babies and bigger babies can't fit through the birth canal. He asked if I was active and I told him I do water aerobics twice a week. I drink a lot of water. He was a little worried about my blood pressure. It always seems to be high when I go to the doctor. I told him I was worried about something going wrong and he told me nothing was going wrong. After talking he hard my blood pressure taken again and it was a little lower. He said I'm border line and they he will be watching it. He ordered a lot of blood test so they could have a base line. So when they test me in the future they will know if things are abnormally high or not.

I did the glucose test on Saturday morning. It wasn't as bad as everyone said it was. But I got a call today saying I scored 133 and I couldn't be over 125. So I have to go in on Friday for a 3 hour glucose test. I have to fast for 12 hours. Drink orange sugar water and have my blood taken every hour for 3 hours. Not how I want to spend my Friday morning but I'm not to worried about passing it.

I'm Pregnant!!

So it's official. I'm having a baby. On June 14 I took a home pregnancy test in the morning and thought the result was invalid. So took another when I got home and sure enough it was positive. My husband just looked and me and smiled with this child like grin. I could hardly believe it.

We told my parents and my siblings and made a doctors appointment for June 20. I wanted to know how far along I was. I wanted to know what to do and when I could start telling people. Well when the day came I did not get a lot of information. The doctor didn't think I was more then 6-7 weeks along. He wouldn't have even told me I was pregnant if I didn't tell him first. So we scheduled an ultrasound for 6/21 to get a due date.

How amazing is technology these days. I saw my baby move. The nurse measured the baby and told us I was 13 weeks and 2 days along. Double what the doctor thought. I was completely unaware I was pregnant my first trimester. The babies heart beat was fast 154 bpm. We could see it's little hand and it's little feet. It was such an amazing feeling.

The doctor called the next day and wanted to get me into see a specialist as soon as possible since I was much father along then he expected and I am high risk due to my weight. The doctor also informed me I have low iron. I've been thinking of all the things I did during my first trimester that I probably shouldn't have done. I dyed my hair, I have 2 wine coolers, I was around smokers, I ate junk food. But I try to tell myself that people have done worse things and had perfect babies. I'm going to have a perfect baby.

So my next doctors appointment is scheduled for 7/1. Wish me luck.

Big Secret

So I haven't blogged in a few days because I'm holding a very big secret inside and I feel that it might come out here if I write to much. Anyways swimming Monday was very cold but I made it through. Only half the class was there. We are picking up all the kids and my husbands neice today. So lots of kids in the house for a few weeks. I got another new health coach which I'm really happy with so we'll see how my progress goes. I'm taking off work Monday so I will weigh in again Friday morning.

Weigh In Day

So I know I have dozens of reading waiting to see if I lost any weight this week. Well I didn't. I still weight 350.1. Bummer I know. I guess that just means I have to try harder. I have a tomato for lunch. We'll see if thats any good. I forgot my iPod at home today so I won't be able to log what I eat until I get home. I went swimming yesterday with a friend. It was very cold. My knees really hurt today. I feel like I'm falling apart. My entire body is sore. Ick!

All in all I'm kind of dissappointed. I really wanted to see some progress this week. I hope I don't get off track. Any encourging words would be great.

What I learned today

So today I used a new feature with a health coach. It was online chat and I chatted because I was having a sweet craving. Here are a few things I learned.


It varies for every person. But to maintain my weight at 350lbs I would need to eat 3500 calories.

Eat 2000 calories per day. And do the physical activity that you are currently doing. Consider them as two separate things. You don't want to eat more calories because you are exercising more.

It is better to make a more gradual decrease in calorie intake, so that when I am under 250lbs I can still cut calories and continue to make progress.

It is healthier to mix healthy carbs and proteins. It prevents your blood sugar from spiking , makes for slower breakdown, and prevents higher body fat stores. makes the energy last longer too. (Fruit and cheese - yum)

Sugar creates sugar craving. High sugar food creates a big spike on blood sugar that needs to be controlled by a large release of insulin (causes body fat storage). This large release in insulin causes a big drop in blood sugar, which needs to be fought off by sugar cravings.

Cravings are not hunger, so they do not need to be addressed for your body's benefit. Hunger is the only response that your body needs you to respond to.

Your body will start craving nourishment once it finds out what nourishment does for your body's health. And you will prefer fruit, vegetables, whole grains, foods that feed your immunity, muscles, organs...

That's a lot of really good information. Man this is hard work but it will all be worth it. Good thing the kids are coming to visit they can get all the cookies and cake mix I have laying around.

Ew Gross

I'd never think I'd say that to Jack in the Box breakfast but I just did. I feel bad for wasting it since they are kind of expensive but all I did was drink my chocolate milk and eat 1/4 of a sausage egg and chess biscut. I don't know why I think that would be the best thing to get but I'm glad I looked at the calories before I ate it. If I ate everything I would have eaten over 1000 calories. Good thing I'm full.

The Pool

I'm a fish

I've been in water for almost 3 hours. I walked laps in the pool, I had water aerobics and I took a bath. I feel heavy and tired. My stomach hurts a little I just ate a pickle spear and a mouth full of Ramen noodles. Probably way more salt then I needed. I had planed to eat a salad but I'm not hungry for it. I'll be in bed in ten minutes so I don't need to eat that fast anyways.

So back to me being a fish. Walking laps was good. It was really tuff against the current but they turned the jets off so us ladies walking ended up making the current go the other way. So it got easier. I was supposed to do that for an hour but my stomach started to hurt so I stopped in the whirl pool and stretched. When I'm in the pool I try not to quit moving. We I'm in aerobics class we do laps across the pool with lunges and kicks and I try to continue to do them while waiting for others to get done. I also stay near the deep end to tread water as much as I can. I'd be wonderful to be able to relax in the pool but I can do that when I'm a size 14.

I'm very temped to weigh myself in the morning but I will wait until Monday. I'm hoping I can be good this weekend. I have a wedding to go to and they are only serving cake and punch. On top of that it's out of town so anything I eat will be from fast food. Maybe I'll pack a lunch before I go. That sounds like a good idea to me. I surprise myself sometimes how smart I am. haha

Tomorrow!

Lunch

So today I was bad and ordered Imos pizza for lunch. I hope my husband doesn't read this post. Anyways I got their lunch special that was an 8" cheese pizza, salad with ranch and tea. I also order some Bascco stick - they are so good. I ate one Bascco stick and one strip of pizza about 8x2. My friends were worried abot me but I didn't want to over eat knowing what I was eating wasn't good for me. So now I have a snack and some dinner. I have swimming again tonight. I went to the pool last night with a freind and swam the lazy river. I'm looking forward to tonight. I just need to make sure I make time for a hot bath. Swimming makes me sore.

The afternoon is finally here

So this day has gone by so slow. I guess it does that when you start your day at 6:30. Anyways I'm kind of looking forward to the pool. Not looking forward to warm water. Oh I did a bad thing today and weighted myself. I've gained 1 lb since Monday. I'm hoping it's a fluke. Water weight or something. I had just eaten lunch. So I'll stick to my every Monday weigh in from now on.

Ugh I feel sick

So I woke up at 6:40 and felt sick to my stomach. I feel all hot and clamy. I did lay back down for 5 mins and I was half tempted to call my mom and tell her not to pick me up. My husband doesnt have to work until noon so I should have slept another hour and had him take me. But I'm here now. I'm at work trying to eat some peanutbutter on wheat bread and drinking ginger ale. I hope I don't have to call the husband to come pick me up. I'm so not feeling it today.

I'm supposed to go to the pool with Liz after work. I'm looking forward to it but I don't know how many rowdy kids there will be. And it's been so hot the water is icky warm.

Well I'll check in later. I hope it's a good day.

The day after...

I feel pretty slugish. I could use a good strech. I'm trying to do what I can while I'm at work. I don't feel sore. No one muscle hurts. So I think I did a good job for class number 1. Now that I know a lot of the exercises I will be able to do them a little better next time. I had cereal for breakfast. It was sugary though. I'm having leftovers for lunch. A little more then I should probably eat but I wont eat it all if I feel full. Well I guess today will be my day of rest. That's all for now.

I feel like I weigh a ton!

Well only because I've been in the water for an hour and I'm soaking wet. My first water aerobics class was great. I really felt it. I'm going to keep pushing myself and challenging myself to do more. I can defiantly feel the burn. My shoulders are a little sore and my thighs. But I feel good. I defiantly want to do the river walk on Thursday. I don't even care so much if I log my miles I would just like to be in the water longer and get some more exercise. According to a random website I being 350 lbs 25 years old and 64 inches tall burned 295 in one hour. Oh yeah you didn't hear I'm down to 350! I cant remember when I was that low. I've been between 354 and 357 for a long time. I remember when I went over 350 I was not very happy but I did keep myself from going over 360. Though I do feel bad I drank some Gatorade when I got home not thinking of the calories that were in it. But I was proud of my dinner portions too. So all around today was a good day. Let's keep up the good work! Yay me!

Down 1 more

So I'm now 350. I don't know when the last time I was at 350 but I know I wasn't happy when I went over it. I've not beendoing as well with my eating as I would like but I'm still trying to make an effort to eat better and less. I start water aerobic tonight. I have a freind from high school and my aunt joining me. It's hard to do things on your own sometimes so I'm glad I have a bit of a support system there.

Losing Steam

So it's Friday and I haven't worked out since Monday. Wednesday I even had Golden Corral for dinner. I'm been okay with my eating. I'm trying to watch it but I still fall to temtations. I start Water Aerobics on Monday and I'm looking forward to it very much. I will also do the River Walk and walk against the current in the lazy river a hour before class. I need to add 2 more hour workouts to my week.

I have a health coach through work and I think I need more. I've informed her of my goals and worries. But I think I need to check in more then once a week. I dont know. I hope I can stay on track. My husband has been sore from lifting weights and hasn't been able to work out since Monday. Hopefuly this weekend we can do some more exercising together.

Ready to Run

So I got some running shoes. Although they don't make me run like the man that sold them to me said they would. lol. The arches are high so they hurt my feet. My husband got a weight bench and I found a local water aerbics class that meets twice a week for an hour. That class starts 6/6. They also have this Walk the River Club. You walk the lazy river again the current and you collect miles and win prizes. I want to do that too. Thats the hour before my aerobics class.

We went to my brothers for a bbq yesterday and me and my husband jogged his driveway. I was very proud of myself. His drive way is .1 mile long. I jogged back and forth 5 times. I haven't jogged in years. I weighted myself again today and my weight is 351.1. I'm woundering if I read the scale wrong last week. Is it really possible to lose 6lbs in 5 days?

Full Steam Ahead

"Would I like you to be smaller? Yes. I think sex would be so much better and we would have a lot more fun in be"

So thats what I'm going to be. "Smaller" I don't care what it take.

How is now the questions.

Count Calories - Downloaded iPod app to track what I eat.
Exercise - Getting tennis shoes tonight. And may also take Aqua Areobics at the local pool.
Health Coach - Told her my goals. Lets hope she stays on top of me and pushes me.

Current Weight = 357
Current Goal = 350

Motivation ...............................

4 lbs!

So the 18th day of January and I've lost 4 lbs. Now I have to be honest I'm not jumping up and down about this, My current weight is 356. My weight keeps fluctuating. But I'm happy I'm not going over 360. As I was relaxing this evening a few things crossed my mind. What can I do to motivate myself? Should I give myself an ultimatum? What if I had no choice, would I be able to lose the weight I had to? In my heart I really wan to lose weight so I know I can do it with the right tools. I just have to realize it's not going to happen overnight. One day I would love to have a son or daughter with Michael. But I don't want to look like this. I want to be active, I want to be healthy, I want my child to be healthy. So this journey is hard. It's hard because I keep giving up on myself. It's like I'm two different people. The Healthy Mom inside of me is yelling at me to get my butt in gear and I'm falling to the floor in tears. It's like my own episode of The Biggest Loser in my head. I want my husband and I to be happy with our sex life. I want him to show me off. I want to wear heals!! I just need to keep having this conversation with myself and sooner or later the Healthy Mom inside me will win.

Dance

Oh how I miss dancing. I must have been 16 in this picture. I hated my body then and I hate it even more now. I remember hating that my stomach showed. I was the biggest girl in the class. The only good out come was that 99% of all my dance pictures turned out good. I was very photogenic. This is what I want. I want to be tones and have my tight butt again. I know I will never be as skinny as some of those girls in my class but I would be comfortable with this. I would be comfortable dancing again. I believe in fate and when Beth began to work with me it made me realize how much I miss and love dance. So one day I will dance again and look beautiful doing it.

New Year

So I've been working towards a better me. I haven't been blogging but I have been trying. I was able to maintain my weight through the holidays which is an amazing feet for me. I just spoke on the phone with my friend Mindy from Lake Ozark and as always she has motivated me. So tomorrow I will ask Beth at work to write me a bar work routine. Susanna would like me to do Zumba with her but I am afraid I might pass out. I would like to find a swimming class though. I have so many tools at home to use for my weight loss I just need to use the. I have an exercise ball, resistance bands, and an elliptical. So once the Christmas tree comes down it's going up.